Within the Vietnamese-American community, there is a quiet but important reality:
Many older adults do not fully understand—or have never prepared—a living will.
It’s not because they don’t care.
It’s often because, in Asian culture—especially Vietnamese—topics like serious illness, death, or funerals are avoided, seen as uncomfortable or even “unlucky.”
But when nothing is prepared, it is the family who must make the hardest decisions—
at the most emotional and stressful moment.
What Is a Living Will—and Why It’s More Than Just Medical?
A living will is a legal document that allows you to:
- State what medical treatments you want or do not want
- Define your end-of-life care preferences
- And importantly for many Vietnamese families: Specify religious rites, funeral arrangements, and burial wishes
This is not just a medical document— It is a way to ensure your values, beliefs, and dignity are respected until the very end.
Why Many Vietnamese Seniors Overlook This
1. Cultural hesitation around death
Talking about death is often avoided.
2. Trust that family will “just know”
But in reality:
- Children grow up in the U.S.
- Different generations think differently
– Misunderstandings are common
3. Lack of familiarity with the U.S. system
In the U.S.:
- Doctors rely on documented directives
- Families cannot always decide without legal guidance
Why It Matters
Without a living will, these situations often occur:
- Medical teams continue life-prolonging treatments you may not want
- Family members disagree about what to do
- Religious rites (last prayers, priest, rituals) may not happen in time
- Funeral arrangements may not reflect your beliefs
- This doesn’t just affect you—
it creates emotional burden and uncertainty for your loved ones
What a Living Will Can Include
A comprehensive living will—especially for Vietnamese seniors—can include:
Medical decisions
- CPR or no CPR
- Ventilator use
- Artificial nutrition
End-of-life care
- Hospice care
- Comfort-focused care vs life extension
Religious wishes
- Request for priest, pastor, or spiritual advisor
- Last rites, prayers, or rituals
Funeral and burial
- Burial vs cremation
- Location and type of service
- Who should be involved
Organ donation (if desired)
Who Should Have a Living Will?
- Every adult should consider one
But especially important for: - Adults age 55+
- Individuals with chronic conditions
- Families living across cultures or generations
What to Consider Before Creating One
- Reflect on your values
How do you want to be cared for at the end of life? - Talk to your family
Don’t let them guess - Choose a healthcare proxy
Someone who: - Understands you
- Can stay calm under pressure
- Will respect your wishes
- Review regularly
Update after major life or health changes
A Realistic Perspective
In many Vietnamese families:
- Children may want to “do everything possible”
- While parents may prefer a peaceful, dignified passing with spiritual presence
Without a living will, your voice may not be heard when it matters most
Final Thought
Creating a living will is not pessimistic.
It is:
👉 Practical
👉 Responsible
👉 An act of love for your family
Because you are not just preparing for yourself—
you are helping your loved ones avoid painful decisions during an already difficult time.
-Nguyễn Bách Khoa-